Some men jokes my wife gave me to read. They are really funny!
WOMEN WILL LOVE THESE
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out
of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and
said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
"If you look to me for illumination, you better have a flashlight!"
I agree. Some make me sad, and some I really hope women don't believe. Like men are whiners or intelligent, caring men are a rumor. You make the latter case in point absolutely false Travis!
Yes, some have a negative connation to them, but we need to remember these are jokes and hopefully will never reflect the truth in our own relationships.
I say that because I care for all of you and I never - EVER - want to cause sadness among our international family - especially at the expense of levity.
"If you look to me for illumination, you better have a flashlight!"
