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Amazingly simple cures - NOT!

Please do not try these!

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water
down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to
hold while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using
the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for
a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use
a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
will be afraid to cough.
7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move an d should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
"If you look to me for illumination, you better have a flashlight!"
Well that woke me up and ill keep an eye out for the wife now/
Live is too short to waste it make sure its with the one u love !
MAIL : [email protected]
1,5 and 6 had me laughing out loud :)
I gots a webcomic! http://yetanothercomic.com
I know a guy who deserves #5 played on him. Will film and let you know how it goes :D

-Fred
Pirates, vampires, zombies, ninjas, ghouls, aliens, goblins, monsters, robots, sorcerers, undead, werewolves, demons, mutated dinosaur-cyborgs and those pesky phone salesmen! The shotgun is a one-size-fits-all solution!
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using
the sink.

Hahah
Travis Jacobs

"You might not sound so idiotic if there were at least something excitable in my post to begin with..." --Baf
Only you could think of something like that, Fred. :lol:
"If you look to me for illumination, you better have a flashlight!"
Jim the old guy wrote:7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
As a shade tree mechanic, I think these are words to live by. :)