ADHD
First, I eat a lot of meat.
This is the most expensive thing we buy....
It is because meat is the best protein source for building muscle... Nothing else compares.
Chicken breast mainly, canned tuna, good value canned chicken, and ground turkey or ground chicken. Sometimes Extra Lean Ground beef, if they are out of the other stuff.
The canned chicken is not spam or any crap like that. It is quality salted meat. Nutritional info is really good and is low fat.
Now, if there is anyone here that works out.... (even though I have not been to the gym in a while, I still try to maintain that eating regiment throughout my day, so that I don't fall competently off the band wagon, even though supper is sometimes bad.)
Back to what I was saying, if there is anyone on this site that works out and has some great suggestions on getting a lot of protein effectively, in order to build muscle, I am open to suggestions, to save money.
As for fruits and veggies, we buy our veggies frozen... I know it isn't the best, but you gotta do what you gotta do. We buy some raw veggies, like a head of coley flower, 2 big broccoli stocks, some celery, a bit of onion, and some lettuce. We get some bananas too, some grapes, strawberries, a few apples, some baby carrots.... I used to get sweet potatoes too... but I got sick of them and couldn't stomach the taste.
Those are the main things for fruits and veggies..... although, I don't find them to be the most expensive... it is meat more than anything.
We also use Becel instead of butter. I know margarine use to be worse for you than butter... and there are still lots of brands that are, but Becel is NOT made with hydrogenated oil, which is trans fat and is probably the worst kind of fat someone can ingest, more so than saturated fat.
As for nuts, these are very expensive too, and I avoid buying them, and instead use almond butter, which is really good for you. I used to use the organic peanut butter, but found almond butter is better. I just have a bit in the morning, with some toast, every other day or so.
As for how much we spend...... it is quite ridiculous..... anywhere from 650 to a little over 800 a month. And we wonder why we are struggling for money......
It is because I eat at least 4 to 5 times a day..... I have too, because I am hungry. My appetite has been curbed a bit, due to me not working out anymore.... (although I have been craving to get back into it) But I still try to do that too to speed up my metabolism....
Keep in mind, we also have a 3 year old and a 1 year old to feed, and my wife is running a daycare with one child right now. So she needs to buy food for that too.
At least we can write some of it off at tax time, but still....
The cost, to me, seems astronomical, and there has to be a way I can eat like someone who wants to put on a lot of muscle and save money.
Again.... any suggestions is welcomed....
I feel like this turned into a nutrition thread, rather than an ADHD thread, but I am not complaining.... I feel like they are all related.
As for the ADHD.... the meds are not working long enough throughout the day....
I hope I can get this under control.... My lists are getting out of control now, and there is no way I can do everything on them..... Half the stuff is pointless $#it too. You should see my trying to mow the lawn, for God's sake. It sometimes takes me 3 hrs, because I see twigs on the ground, due a massive tree in the neighbor's yard, and I don't want to dull the lawn mower blade. Then I see weeds and start picking them, or I see an ant infestation somewhere and have to get the ant bait killer.
Anything I do, takes forever..... Figuring out money and finances every two weeks.... at least an hr. Wife can do it in 10 mins, but I do it a certain way to make sure that we carry over what we need to from pay check to pay check, in order to have enough money... She doesn't do that, and sometimes we end up screwing ourselves, or she isn't sure when the exact date is that bills come out and she might forget to account for them..... Being a perfectionist doesn't make things easy either.... Must be the mild OCD symptoms the psychiatrist was talking about. I wish we made enough money every two weeks to cover all the expenses when they come out. It would be so much easier then.... but we would have to make about 70 000 to 80 000 a year combined, for that..... At least I think that would give us enough.
We are in the low 40s, due to my wife quitting her job and only having one daycare kid.... At one point we were just above 60..... which was nice. We are so short that I am borrowing money monthly, from my mother, just to make ends meet and it really is taking a blow to my self esteem.... I thought I was out of this getting money from my parents stage a long time ago.....
When we had a good income, we bought a house and had kids..... and now we are in a predicament. Selling our house wouldn't be a good idea either.... The only affordable apartments that are all inclusive are in the ghetto.... I don't want my kids in those areas of the city....
My mom is just helping us out, until my wife's business gets some traction.... She decided to do that, because putting 2 kids in daycare would be pointless due to the expense..... If she went to work, it would cost 1400 a month, minimum. That is just nuts..... she would only make 400 bucks a month and is making more having one child in our daycare than doing the latter. So this is the best option, should she be able to fill those spots. It is just hard, because our area is saturated with daycares. She just needs to get established and more people to know her, so she starts getting lots of referrals. At least she is getting inquiries.
There was one other option and that is for us to work opposite. That just spells disaster for a relationship.... We would both be absolutely miserable, if we never saw each other.....
Anyway.... I gotta get to work.
All this crap is going on in my head....... I am one of those people where if allowed to talk, I would ramble for hours and talk very fast to try and fit it all in. ADHD symptome.
Sorry about the long post.
This is the most expensive thing we buy....
It is because meat is the best protein source for building muscle... Nothing else compares.
Chicken breast mainly, canned tuna, good value canned chicken, and ground turkey or ground chicken. Sometimes Extra Lean Ground beef, if they are out of the other stuff.
The canned chicken is not spam or any crap like that. It is quality salted meat. Nutritional info is really good and is low fat.
Now, if there is anyone here that works out.... (even though I have not been to the gym in a while, I still try to maintain that eating regiment throughout my day, so that I don't fall competently off the band wagon, even though supper is sometimes bad.)
Back to what I was saying, if there is anyone on this site that works out and has some great suggestions on getting a lot of protein effectively, in order to build muscle, I am open to suggestions, to save money.
As for fruits and veggies, we buy our veggies frozen... I know it isn't the best, but you gotta do what you gotta do. We buy some raw veggies, like a head of coley flower, 2 big broccoli stocks, some celery, a bit of onion, and some lettuce. We get some bananas too, some grapes, strawberries, a few apples, some baby carrots.... I used to get sweet potatoes too... but I got sick of them and couldn't stomach the taste.
Those are the main things for fruits and veggies..... although, I don't find them to be the most expensive... it is meat more than anything.
We also use Becel instead of butter. I know margarine use to be worse for you than butter... and there are still lots of brands that are, but Becel is NOT made with hydrogenated oil, which is trans fat and is probably the worst kind of fat someone can ingest, more so than saturated fat.
As for nuts, these are very expensive too, and I avoid buying them, and instead use almond butter, which is really good for you. I used to use the organic peanut butter, but found almond butter is better. I just have a bit in the morning, with some toast, every other day or so.
As for how much we spend...... it is quite ridiculous..... anywhere from 650 to a little over 800 a month. And we wonder why we are struggling for money......
It is because I eat at least 4 to 5 times a day..... I have too, because I am hungry. My appetite has been curbed a bit, due to me not working out anymore.... (although I have been craving to get back into it) But I still try to do that too to speed up my metabolism....
Keep in mind, we also have a 3 year old and a 1 year old to feed, and my wife is running a daycare with one child right now. So she needs to buy food for that too.
At least we can write some of it off at tax time, but still....
The cost, to me, seems astronomical, and there has to be a way I can eat like someone who wants to put on a lot of muscle and save money.
Again.... any suggestions is welcomed....
I feel like this turned into a nutrition thread, rather than an ADHD thread, but I am not complaining.... I feel like they are all related.
As for the ADHD.... the meds are not working long enough throughout the day....
I hope I can get this under control.... My lists are getting out of control now, and there is no way I can do everything on them..... Half the stuff is pointless $#it too. You should see my trying to mow the lawn, for God's sake. It sometimes takes me 3 hrs, because I see twigs on the ground, due a massive tree in the neighbor's yard, and I don't want to dull the lawn mower blade. Then I see weeds and start picking them, or I see an ant infestation somewhere and have to get the ant bait killer.
Anything I do, takes forever..... Figuring out money and finances every two weeks.... at least an hr. Wife can do it in 10 mins, but I do it a certain way to make sure that we carry over what we need to from pay check to pay check, in order to have enough money... She doesn't do that, and sometimes we end up screwing ourselves, or she isn't sure when the exact date is that bills come out and she might forget to account for them..... Being a perfectionist doesn't make things easy either.... Must be the mild OCD symptoms the psychiatrist was talking about. I wish we made enough money every two weeks to cover all the expenses when they come out. It would be so much easier then.... but we would have to make about 70 000 to 80 000 a year combined, for that..... At least I think that would give us enough.
We are in the low 40s, due to my wife quitting her job and only having one daycare kid.... At one point we were just above 60..... which was nice. We are so short that I am borrowing money monthly, from my mother, just to make ends meet and it really is taking a blow to my self esteem.... I thought I was out of this getting money from my parents stage a long time ago.....
When we had a good income, we bought a house and had kids..... and now we are in a predicament. Selling our house wouldn't be a good idea either.... The only affordable apartments that are all inclusive are in the ghetto.... I don't want my kids in those areas of the city....
My mom is just helping us out, until my wife's business gets some traction.... She decided to do that, because putting 2 kids in daycare would be pointless due to the expense..... If she went to work, it would cost 1400 a month, minimum. That is just nuts..... she would only make 400 bucks a month and is making more having one child in our daycare than doing the latter. So this is the best option, should she be able to fill those spots. It is just hard, because our area is saturated with daycares. She just needs to get established and more people to know her, so she starts getting lots of referrals. At least she is getting inquiries.
There was one other option and that is for us to work opposite. That just spells disaster for a relationship.... We would both be absolutely miserable, if we never saw each other.....
Anyway.... I gotta get to work.
All this crap is going on in my head....... I am one of those people where if allowed to talk, I would ramble for hours and talk very fast to try and fit it all in. ADHD symptome.
Sorry about the long post.
Matt
Hi lestat, sorry to hear of this.
I don't have experience with ADHD in particular, but I know someone with OCD that impaired their ability to go about their day or work easily and what helped them (different things help different people) was a combination of medication and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Since you're already trying medication it could be worth trying CBT alongside it.
I don't know how things are in Canada but in the UK it's possible to get referred for a certain amount of free CBT sessions, either in a group or one-on-one. Or if you're OK with self-help there are websites and books that take you through it and give you exercises to do, I'm sure there's ones out there written for ADHD somewhere.
Another therapy, is Mindfulness, though it's less common compared to CBT. But some therapists may know a bit about it. And of course there are books and websites, some of which speficially talk about Mindfulness for ADHD. I guess I would start with CBT, which is more about exercises and training in looking at things in a different way to help you reclaim more of your day for yourself, tackling the things you can change for the better. Then look into Mindfulness which might be helpful for the things that concern you that you can't change, since it's about methods of being mindful and accepting of the thoughts and feelings you experience in a calmer way, then letting go rather than battling over a way to eradicate or "resolve" them etc. Some who find CBT doesn't fully work out for them find other methods like Mindfulness more helpful, but everyones different of course.
Though the way I'm describing CBT and Mindfulness is pretty general, the way a therapist works with you and what exercises and things they suggest depends entirely on what kind of problem you're seeing them about, so for ADHD I'm sure it's different.
Also I have personally tried some over the counter herbal remedies. But you do have to be careful because it's easy to jump in and just try everything, and then not be sure what is and isn't working, so then you end up just taking a lot of useless "herb extracts" that aren't helping since as always, different things work for different people. And of course online there's a lot of scams out there with people just wanting to hawk their goods. Also people mistake "natural" as being "without side effects or complications" but it's always best to be aware of potential side effects and taking too high of a dose. As well as interactions with medications.
Anyway disclaimers aside, out of the ones I've tried, I've always kept on with a simple Magnesium Citrate supplement, 400mg a day. I don't take it for ADHD obviously but it's action is supposed to calm nerves and muscles, so it made me wonder if it might help at all. Here's a note from the University of Maryland Medical Center:
http://umm.edu/health/medical/altmed/co ... y-disorder
Another one might be L-Theanine which is a Green Tea extract. It also is meant to be calming and been compared in some studies with anti-anxiety medication since it increases GABA in the brain. It doesn't seem to effect me enough (as always everyone is different) so I don't take it much anymore but others seem to of found an effect. As it's an amino acid though I'd ask a doctor first incase it interacts with any medication, especially if you're on an antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication but any other medication is worth asking about too.
Not a great source but here's a little something via Wikipedia:
All I can think of right now... but hope that's of some help!
I don't have experience with ADHD in particular, but I know someone with OCD that impaired their ability to go about their day or work easily and what helped them (different things help different people) was a combination of medication and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Since you're already trying medication it could be worth trying CBT alongside it.
I don't know how things are in Canada but in the UK it's possible to get referred for a certain amount of free CBT sessions, either in a group or one-on-one. Or if you're OK with self-help there are websites and books that take you through it and give you exercises to do, I'm sure there's ones out there written for ADHD somewhere.
Another therapy, is Mindfulness, though it's less common compared to CBT. But some therapists may know a bit about it. And of course there are books and websites, some of which speficially talk about Mindfulness for ADHD. I guess I would start with CBT, which is more about exercises and training in looking at things in a different way to help you reclaim more of your day for yourself, tackling the things you can change for the better. Then look into Mindfulness which might be helpful for the things that concern you that you can't change, since it's about methods of being mindful and accepting of the thoughts and feelings you experience in a calmer way, then letting go rather than battling over a way to eradicate or "resolve" them etc. Some who find CBT doesn't fully work out for them find other methods like Mindfulness more helpful, but everyones different of course.
Though the way I'm describing CBT and Mindfulness is pretty general, the way a therapist works with you and what exercises and things they suggest depends entirely on what kind of problem you're seeing them about, so for ADHD I'm sure it's different.
Also I have personally tried some over the counter herbal remedies. But you do have to be careful because it's easy to jump in and just try everything, and then not be sure what is and isn't working, so then you end up just taking a lot of useless "herb extracts" that aren't helping since as always, different things work for different people. And of course online there's a lot of scams out there with people just wanting to hawk their goods. Also people mistake "natural" as being "without side effects or complications" but it's always best to be aware of potential side effects and taking too high of a dose. As well as interactions with medications.
Anyway disclaimers aside, out of the ones I've tried, I've always kept on with a simple Magnesium Citrate supplement, 400mg a day. I don't take it for ADHD obviously but it's action is supposed to calm nerves and muscles, so it made me wonder if it might help at all. Here's a note from the University of Maryland Medical Center:
You can read more about it and other alternatives here:Magnesium (200 mg per day) -- Symptoms of magnesium deficiency include irritability, decreased attention span, and mental confusion. Some experts believe that children with ADHD may be showing the effects of mild magnesium deficiency. In one preliminary study of 75 magnesium-deficient children with ADHD, those who received magnesium supplements showed an improvement in behavior compared to those who did not receive the supplements. Too much magnesium can be dangerous and magnesium can interfere with certain medications, including antibiotics and blood pressure medications. Talk to your doctor.
http://umm.edu/health/medical/altmed/co ... y-disorder
Another one might be L-Theanine which is a Green Tea extract. It also is meant to be calming and been compared in some studies with anti-anxiety medication since it increases GABA in the brain. It doesn't seem to effect me enough (as always everyone is different) so I don't take it much anymore but others seem to of found an effect. As it's an amino acid though I'd ask a doctor first incase it interacts with any medication, especially if you're on an antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication but any other medication is worth asking about too.
Not a great source but here's a little something via Wikipedia:
I usually buy 'em from Amazon or iHerb, whichever is cheapest. The local shops around here can be a bit pricy unless they have a sale on but maybe Canada is different.Large studies in humans have not been undertaken, however several smaller-scale studies (less than 100 participants) have shown increased alpha wave generation and lowered anxiety, along with benefits to sleep quality in patients with ADHD (Study here: http://www.altmedrev.com/publications/16/4/348.pdf ) .[
All I can think of right now... but hope that's of some help!
(Ruri_Ayanami from the old Tex Murphy ezboard).
"I don't believe in intuition, don't know why... just a feeling." - Tex Murphy
"I don't believe in intuition, don't know why... just a feeling." - Tex Murphy
I was diagnosed with ADD (minus the hyperactive H) as a kid, and medicated for it all through school. I really feel like it was mistake, and that the medication was counterproductive.
ADD medications are a lot like a cocaine habit. They burn out your dopamine receptors, and they're tied to depression. Then they had me on all kinds of antidepressants, which made me impulsive, and I would get into a lot of trouble. I also started drinking pretty bad, although I can't say this was really related. I feel like these medications made things worse and kept me from developing the coping skills I needed to function. When I went to college I sobered up and I stopped taking the meds, and things have been a lot better since.
Personally, my belief is that ADHD is a type, not a disorder. It doesn't mean you're impaired or there's anything wrong with you, it just means that you have to organize yourself and motivate yourself differently than other people and that you're going to excel in a different kind of environment.
ADD medications are a lot like a cocaine habit. They burn out your dopamine receptors, and they're tied to depression. Then they had me on all kinds of antidepressants, which made me impulsive, and I would get into a lot of trouble. I also started drinking pretty bad, although I can't say this was really related. I feel like these medications made things worse and kept me from developing the coping skills I needed to function. When I went to college I sobered up and I stopped taking the meds, and things have been a lot better since.
Personally, my belief is that ADHD is a type, not a disorder. It doesn't mean you're impaired or there's anything wrong with you, it just means that you have to organize yourself and motivate yourself differently than other people and that you're going to excel in a different kind of environment.
I have ADHD and was diagnosed as a child.. And wanted to put in my two cents..
I'm from Norway, so there might be some differences here and there, but the diagnose is the same.
Most persons who get ADHD/ADD diagnosed at a young age, grows out of it, but in some individuals it's there for life.
As for medication, i got ritalin when i was young, but i stopped it after a few years after i found out that ritalin is basically amphetamine. If that was a good idea or not, i'm not sure, but i have not taken any ADHD medication since. Now, not everyone can do this comfortably, ADHD has varying levels of influence, and some really benefits from the medication.
Different types of jobs are not good for those with ADHD, but there is no direct job that you can point your finger at, i have in my own experience found that being able to work with something you have an interest in is like night and day at work.. If the work is booring to you, the ADHD will make it hard to concentrate and will wander off, but, if you work with something you like doing, say making stuff out of wood or bake or draw/paint or whatever, you might even excel over others.. (People with ADHD diagnoses tend to be more creative as well)
Atleast this works for me, i work as an IT technichian, and have ever since i discovered my brothers c64, i grew up with computers, starting with the 286.. I could work on computers all day, changing hardware, finding errors and learning at the same time. Thanks to that, i don't have the need to medicate as i am able to concentrate on things i enjoy doing, infact, sometimes i get a bit too caught up in my work because of it.
So my point is, if your work is booring, you should look into other types of work that interests you more, but don't just quit before you have found something new.
Find ways to get the ADHD to work with you instead of against you..
And don't feel alone with ADHD.. There are many, many people out there with the same diagnosis.
This list might help a bit..
http://www.famouspeoplearehuman.com/fam ... e-adhd.htm
I'm from Norway, so there might be some differences here and there, but the diagnose is the same.
Most persons who get ADHD/ADD diagnosed at a young age, grows out of it, but in some individuals it's there for life.
As for medication, i got ritalin when i was young, but i stopped it after a few years after i found out that ritalin is basically amphetamine. If that was a good idea or not, i'm not sure, but i have not taken any ADHD medication since. Now, not everyone can do this comfortably, ADHD has varying levels of influence, and some really benefits from the medication.
Different types of jobs are not good for those with ADHD, but there is no direct job that you can point your finger at, i have in my own experience found that being able to work with something you have an interest in is like night and day at work.. If the work is booring to you, the ADHD will make it hard to concentrate and will wander off, but, if you work with something you like doing, say making stuff out of wood or bake or draw/paint or whatever, you might even excel over others.. (People with ADHD diagnoses tend to be more creative as well)
Atleast this works for me, i work as an IT technichian, and have ever since i discovered my brothers c64, i grew up with computers, starting with the 286.. I could work on computers all day, changing hardware, finding errors and learning at the same time. Thanks to that, i don't have the need to medicate as i am able to concentrate on things i enjoy doing, infact, sometimes i get a bit too caught up in my work because of it.
So my point is, if your work is booring, you should look into other types of work that interests you more, but don't just quit before you have found something new.
Find ways to get the ADHD to work with you instead of against you..
And don't feel alone with ADHD.. There are many, many people out there with the same diagnosis.
This list might help a bit..
http://www.famouspeoplearehuman.com/fam ... e-adhd.htm
Just a correction concerning Ritalin.
It is not an amphetamine. It is methylphenidate.
I can't remember which is which, as far as how they work.
I know one creates an abundance of dopamine, and the other prevents re-absorption.
I was never diagnosed as a child.... I have gone most of my life not being diagnosed and due to this, have had many problems. Not going to go into detail about it.
I was also on antidepressants at one time, and yes...... they made me extremely impulsive, to the point of ridiculousness. I think this was because I didn't have the ADHD meds to counteract it.
Medication for me is a last resort here.... I would have liked to not have to take them, but because of my job, I decided to seek help.
I've also found that as time went on, it is getting harder and harder to keep my interest in anything for longer than 20 mins. I used to play guitar for hrs.... sometimes 6 hrs straight, til my fingers blistered and I couldn't play anymore.
Can't seem to keep my attention anymore.
It is frustrating when things I used to really like can't even keep my attention.
Even going on the internet is not the greatest..... I get the wikipedia effect really bad. One thing leads to another to another and then I realized I wasted 2 hrs, and my free time is done, by that point, because I have to go to sleep or have other responsibilities.
I've always wanted a computer IT tech job..... problem is I never went to school for it and now I am quite rusty because I haven't kept up on things as much. I am not even using win 7 due to putting it off on getting it on my computers. It is that one big project I keep avoiding in an effort to organize around it.
The OCD doesn't help either, because I can take this simple project and make it into a mountain, having to make it perfect. Learning every setting and putting it exactly to my liking... then creating a document on what those settings are, step by step and in the exact order they have to be in.... The way I complicate some of the most simple tasks, makes them so daunting, I can't even start. And even just breaking them into smaller chunks... I can get a bit of it done, but it takes so long that I eventually lose interest and it is just half complete....
It is so frustrating, to no end..... I hate to say this, because it sounds so immature..... but if I had it my way, I would have someone doing all my everyday tasks for me.... for example.... cooking my food, cleaning my house, cutting the lawn, getting the car fixed, getting groceries, doing the dishes.... etc etc....
And it isn't because I am lazy........ it is because all these things take up so much time.... These things shouldn't take as much time as they do, but I tend to cause them to take longer they should.
Not having any time to get all these obsessive thoughts out of my head by attacking them, just causes them to pile up and pile up, so much so, to the point where I start having suicidal thoughts because I can't bloody take it....
I know I would never do anything like that, because I love my family, and I don't hate myself either. I would not want to do that to them... There is also the fact that I am scared of the pain, and I have a survival extinct too that I don't think would let me.
But just having the thoughts is not pleasant... I don't want to think of that sort of thing. It is depressing..... I just want to have a normally functioning brain. I know my ADHD brain could make me really excel in the proper environment, but jobs are scarce and I don't have the luxury of picking from a large selection.
I am lucky to have the one I have.... and I am holding on to it for dear life, even though I hate it. If I didn't have this one.... I probably would not be able to find another one.... that is how bad unemployment is, where I am from.
I am thinking of contacting a local charity called the United Way.... They specialize in helping the local community..... maybe they can help me find something better. Need to get around to doing that..... of course, saying that to someone with ADHD..... well ya, I am sure you get the idea.
Anyway.... off to work.
It is not an amphetamine. It is methylphenidate.
I can't remember which is which, as far as how they work.
I know one creates an abundance of dopamine, and the other prevents re-absorption.
I was never diagnosed as a child.... I have gone most of my life not being diagnosed and due to this, have had many problems. Not going to go into detail about it.
I was also on antidepressants at one time, and yes...... they made me extremely impulsive, to the point of ridiculousness. I think this was because I didn't have the ADHD meds to counteract it.
Medication for me is a last resort here.... I would have liked to not have to take them, but because of my job, I decided to seek help.
I've also found that as time went on, it is getting harder and harder to keep my interest in anything for longer than 20 mins. I used to play guitar for hrs.... sometimes 6 hrs straight, til my fingers blistered and I couldn't play anymore.
Can't seem to keep my attention anymore.
It is frustrating when things I used to really like can't even keep my attention.
Even going on the internet is not the greatest..... I get the wikipedia effect really bad. One thing leads to another to another and then I realized I wasted 2 hrs, and my free time is done, by that point, because I have to go to sleep or have other responsibilities.
I've always wanted a computer IT tech job..... problem is I never went to school for it and now I am quite rusty because I haven't kept up on things as much. I am not even using win 7 due to putting it off on getting it on my computers. It is that one big project I keep avoiding in an effort to organize around it.
The OCD doesn't help either, because I can take this simple project and make it into a mountain, having to make it perfect. Learning every setting and putting it exactly to my liking... then creating a document on what those settings are, step by step and in the exact order they have to be in.... The way I complicate some of the most simple tasks, makes them so daunting, I can't even start. And even just breaking them into smaller chunks... I can get a bit of it done, but it takes so long that I eventually lose interest and it is just half complete....
It is so frustrating, to no end..... I hate to say this, because it sounds so immature..... but if I had it my way, I would have someone doing all my everyday tasks for me.... for example.... cooking my food, cleaning my house, cutting the lawn, getting the car fixed, getting groceries, doing the dishes.... etc etc....
And it isn't because I am lazy........ it is because all these things take up so much time.... These things shouldn't take as much time as they do, but I tend to cause them to take longer they should.
Not having any time to get all these obsessive thoughts out of my head by attacking them, just causes them to pile up and pile up, so much so, to the point where I start having suicidal thoughts because I can't bloody take it....
I know I would never do anything like that, because I love my family, and I don't hate myself either. I would not want to do that to them... There is also the fact that I am scared of the pain, and I have a survival extinct too that I don't think would let me.
But just having the thoughts is not pleasant... I don't want to think of that sort of thing. It is depressing..... I just want to have a normally functioning brain. I know my ADHD brain could make me really excel in the proper environment, but jobs are scarce and I don't have the luxury of picking from a large selection.
I am lucky to have the one I have.... and I am holding on to it for dear life, even though I hate it. If I didn't have this one.... I probably would not be able to find another one.... that is how bad unemployment is, where I am from.
I am thinking of contacting a local charity called the United Way.... They specialize in helping the local community..... maybe they can help me find something better. Need to get around to doing that..... of course, saying that to someone with ADHD..... well ya, I am sure you get the idea.
Anyway.... off to work.
Matt
Just an update.
Amphetamines were not working as good as planed. Psychiatrist has decided to change my prescription to Zoloft, to tackle my OCD behavior and Anxiety.
The obsessiveness is causing a major problem and the amphetamines seemed to increase it a bit. Once I have those under control, he is going to reintroduce a different stimulant molecule, so that I can focus better.
Problem was that I was able to focus better with the stimulant, but then would obsess over what I was focused on, which was counter productive.
I am sure we will figure out a combo that works.
Anyway, thanks for listening everyone.
Amphetamines were not working as good as planed. Psychiatrist has decided to change my prescription to Zoloft, to tackle my OCD behavior and Anxiety.
The obsessiveness is causing a major problem and the amphetamines seemed to increase it a bit. Once I have those under control, he is going to reintroduce a different stimulant molecule, so that I can focus better.
Problem was that I was able to focus better with the stimulant, but then would obsess over what I was focused on, which was counter productive.
I am sure we will figure out a combo that works.
Anyway, thanks for listening everyone.
Matt