Unofficial Tex Murphy

God and Moses are playing golf. Moses steps up to take his first shot of the day, and nails a nice shot onto the green. He smiles with pride, turns to god, and says "your turn"

God goes up to the ball, and blasts it. It flies through the air, hits an airplane, circles back hits twleve trees, a golf cart, before bouncing on water, onto the green, and right into the hole.

Moses looks at God, rolls his eyes, and says "Aww comon, quit messing around and play golf, you show off."

A couple more from TOG:

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A
Few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a
Gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"

Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: Get a hot mamma and
Be cheerful." The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, "You've got a heart murmur. Be careful."


A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled
himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath
he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

"Nope," he replied, "arthritis."