Dr. Paul, this is pretty funny - but shows a lot of misconceptions (perpetuated by Hollywood) that I'd like to clear up. For one thing, there are actually quite a number of accents in Georgia, and especially in the South in general. As a linguist living in Georgia for most of my life, let me offer the following commentary:
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: "Howdy. Hire yew."
This one's pretty close.
JAWJUH - noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is Lanner.
Usage: "Mah brother from Jawjuh bard mah pickup truck."
Pretty close, but more common among older folks (especially blacks) than anyone 50 or younger. This goes for all accents that "drop the r's", so to speak (think Doc Holliday in "Tombstone").
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "Mah brother from Jawjuh bard mah pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
This one's really good. I also like "bard". But tell me how one can pronounce "herd" differently from "heard"...misspellings are not indicative of accent, but do play into stereotypes about academic competence.
RANCH - noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "Ah thank I left mah ranch in the back of that pickup truck mah brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
I've never heard it pronounced this way. It's more likely to be pronounced "wrinch" or sometimes "wreeyinch".
ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "Ah sure hope mah brother from Jawjuh puts all in mah pickup truck."
This is definitely way off. The pronunciation of "oil" is fairly uniform from Texas through the South proper as "oll", kind of like the first part of the vowel in "ole" lengthened followed by a short "L" sound as in "pull".
FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If mah brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in mah pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
This one's pretty close for one particular accent: one pronounces the long "i" sound as "ah", and the other pronounces it with the same vowel as in "cat". Hence, the difference between the two can be shown with the word "ice" being pronounced as either "oss" or "ass". This latter group would pronounce "fire" more as "fa" (as in "fat") plus "r". I have actually found more Tennesseeans with the "ah" accent than Georgians, but that may just be my own experience.
This highlights another problem with all these that use the spelling "mah" for "my". Only when it is highly unaccented and clipped does it sound like "muh", but if it accented it follows the rule I mentioned above (two different pronounciations).
TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, ah hope that brother of mahn from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in mah pickup truck."
Same as above. "Ta" (as in "tack") plus "r".
Also, Dr. Paul, if you're in Atlanta, you're not particularly likely to run across these accents (except maybe among some people at a gas station or Waffle House). This is because a strong Southern accent is not conducive to upward mobility in Atlanta. But if you want to hear a priceless accent, I'll give you my grandmother's phone number! Ok, so I wouldn't give it to you, but it is the best Southern accent ever.
