Methods of Madness

Oh, oh, oh... Oh my goodness. Someone decided to grow a backbone! Mr. Fred Buer. And your infinite wisdom. Monologue, not dialouge is it? Just feeling a little bit sour that an out of work, former blue collar truck driver knows how to spell dialouge, so you have to come up with some collegeboy smart aleck crack to insult me with? Forget the fact that sometimes I substitute the wrong word for the correct one. I mean after all, I'm not a prissy, ultra glossy, sugar coated weenie of a college boy who draws inspiration from Spiderman in Jerulesum. Or however you spell that city. I mean, now I get it! Now I know the whole problem! You're from Norway! This explains everything. You're forgiven in my eyes. ::pause ...:: Pff ... Norway. Let me tell you a little bit about the country you reside from ... and it goes like this ...

I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE IT IS, OR IF IT EVEN EXSISTS!

You hear that? No, it's not because of my lack of intelligence, it's because your little country is soooo little, that it doesn't register a blip in my brain. There is only one place that even makes a dent in my registry and that is the good ole United States of America! Norway, Schmorway. Ha! That country is pathetic! And so are your puny little attempts at insult, by questioning the intelligence of someone who is obviously on the same level if not higher than you. And I bet it just grinds your gears that this COMES from an unemployed out of work blue collar wonder, huh? Ha! You're Pathetic!

Jen. My dear. You know something, I find it very amusing that you finally grew the "cough" ... kahonies .. to post something to me after someone else grew the backbone first. You're obviously a follower, not a leader, and for that simple reason alone, your words do not faze me. All you are doing is blatantly trying to ride Fred's momentum in an effort to insult and critisize me. Well I didn't even register one iota of rage or anger at your post. Ha! You're Pathetic!

Pronk? Ha! You're Pathetic!

Mr. Cubby. How wonderful of you to join the debate with your little rant. However, I've got a problem with it, and I'm going to let the entire world in on just what it is! It's a sham! It's plagerism! It's downright rude, and offensive that you would pass this work off as your own! You used a website to generate your rant against me! That's right! How do I know?!? Because Nostradamus has nothing on me, baby. That and I've seen you do it before. You're not amusing to me, nor do I hold your posting skills in high regard. As a matter of fact, the only thing about your posting skills that is high, is the number of them there are. You post demon, trying to be better than everyone else. Of course I would have high posts if I had a website do all my posts for me! HA! You're Pathetic!

Jim. Those Smiley faces ... my gut just turned. How can you go on with your life, thinking that you can change the world with a little smiley face? Huh? It's downright disgusting. As a matter of fact, I'm beginning to think that you're part of a seperate agenda, other than the one praying for a new Tex Murphy game. I believe ... you're here to make me sick. The lord god almighty created you for that one purpose. To sit and make smiley faces, and turn my stomach. If I had an online bazooka, I'd take those smiley faces, and turn them into monster demon faces. Because that's what this world needs more of.

Anybody else what to take a pot shot? I thought not. So just close your little mouths, or better yet, stay the hand of your typing, because nobody ... but nobody is more venoumous, or vile ... than I.

Malloy

Guilty as charged....

Scott Pakin's Automatic Complaint Letter Generator was indeed used to conjure up my little rant. The same tool was used to fabricate the letter aimed at Jim some time ago, which was intended to be a parody of the board's climate at the time.

Does it comfort you to be made aware that my part in this attempt of yours to step up onto your soap box was produced only with minimal effort... hwoever, as I read now, it is apparent it was still more effort than you deserved.

Still, I guess I am only really holding back my real fire becuase you obviously have some kind of mental instability (or perhaps, a chemical imbalance)... and whilst my morals would have me retaliate, I would rather be guilty of an immoral act upon myself than that of a cruel one directed at someone who is obviously less fortuante in life and in mind.

I find your ramblings ill-refined and uncouth at best. So don't bother. If you are such a person who cannot handle being hit with a shred of wisdom, perhaps we should get Fred to hit you with his truck instead.

-Cub. =o)

Mr. Thomas Malloy,

*cough* Well, I'm certainly not going to join in this sad little game you've got going here. Why? Because I'm sick of using the term 'attention whore' in a perjorative sense.

It might have been right in the past to slag you off, it might even be right in the future to slag you off, but I'm not slagging you off today - it would be too easy I'M NOT DOING IT.







... by the way your last post was CRAP.

Then allow me to inform you with some facinating facts.

* Oslo is the capital of Norway. Norway is not the capital of Sweden, as some wrongfully believe.

* Norway is one of the richest countries on the planet, having major oil resources second only to the Middle East.

* The Vikings were norwegian. They were bad-ass

* A norwegian invented the paper clip. While small, it's a universally important invention.

* As many as nineteen (19) norwegians have received the medal of honor after immigrating to the United States, ranging from the Civil War to World War I.

* One of them received it twice, making him a part of the 19 people who have received two medals of honor.

* During World War II, a norwegian group of men blew up a ferry carrying Hitler's supply of Heavy Water for use in the Nazi war-machine's attempt at making the first atomic bomb. This has been recounted in the movie 'Heroes of Telemark', starring Kirk Douglas.

* When a german soldier was sent to Norway, he received a pamphlet. In this pamphlet, it is stated that a norwegian with a Kraag-Joergensen (norwegian rifle) is lethal up to 3.5 kilometres. Norway is also the first country in which the germans suffered a defeat on the battlefield during World War II.

* Roald Amundsen was first to reach the South Pole. He was also first to sail through the Northeast Passage.

* Edward Grieg is one of the world's most famous composers of classical music.

* Edward Munch is one of the world's most famous painters, his works including the famous 'Scream' painting.

* Kurt Nilsen won the first World Idol. Other famous singers and musicians include the band Turbonegro, singer Sissel Kyrkjebø, the band A-ha, singers Lene Marlin, Maria Mena and Mira Craig.

* Among famous writers, authors and playwrights we find Henrik Ibsen, Knut Hamsun, Alf Prøysen and Henrik Wergeland.

* Thor Heyerdahl sailed 4,300 miles across the pacific abord a wooden raft called the Kon-Tiki Expedition, to prove that people from South America could have emigrated that way. He also sailed across the atlantic from Africa to prove that Egypt could have communicated with the Americas, aboard a boat called the Ra II.

* The Literacy rate for people living in Norway above the age of 15 is 100%.

* Fred lives there.

Oh, and we don't have colleges here. Which implies I never attended one. I'm just a child of the TV-generation, having learned my english well through shows and movies the like. I'd also like to state that my brother is a truck driver. My uncle is a truck driver. My father is a truck driver. I live in a family full of truck drivers. But, oh yeah. They still have their jobs.

My backbone, by the way, has been there since birth. Lineage of vikings my friend. Don't take anything warm'n brown from anyone walks this earth.

-Fred

(Oh, and ps: Spider Jerusalem is the main character of Warren Ellis' comic book series 'Transmetropolitan'. Just in case you haven't Googled it already.)

Well, well, well, "Mr." Thomas Malloy, you make all appearances at having done quite well so far. Your mother is doubtless satisfied with her ability to replicate herself, being obliged, along with the balance of your ill-fated contemporaries, to behold the pile of slop she produced. Similarly, I've no doubts that your father's buttons pop off his second-hand, moth-eaten vest when he ponders that you are such a chip off the old manure pile. When in a hard-won levelheaded mood, I cannot find it in me to blame their satisfaction, because you may very well have turned out to be a lot worse than you actually are (a potentiality you will likely correct upon realization): had you bothered to make something of yourself, live out your destiny, fulfill your fullest potential, you could have been something that humanity would be truly justified in wringing its hands and gnashing its teeth over, although your mercifully undeveloped bundle of vile traits standing in for character is already sufficiently rued.

Thus are we induced to bless Providence for your greatest weakness, that fortuitous indolence which alone keeps your presence among us as tolerable as it is. From this happy flaw also springs your greatest strength, a scab scarcely covering the gaping wound of your uncultivated evil: you are a master at appearing to be a master of filth. Yet give me but life to breathe, and breath to speak, and I will not cease to denounce your iniquities to all who are yet deluded by your appearance as a wolf in demon's clothing.

This topic is only missing one thing. Aaron appearing and telling us all that he had just finished the new FMV Tex game, but he wont give it to us anymore because his feeling were hurt too badly.

Hey Fred,

I've been to Norway. Trondheim in July of '92. One of the things I found interesting was, at that time of the year, the sun would barely dip below the horizon around midnight, and then pop up again before it even had a chance to get dark. Had to pull the shades to get some sleep.

I haven't been there in the winter, but I'm guessing that the sun pops up for a few minutes around noon and then goes back down again. Well, that's Trondheim. Are you that far north?

What can I say? I guess more than a few of you have decided to grab your dictionarys and thesauruses, and join in on the flame war. I don't ever use a spell check. As a matter of fact, I leave words misspelled on purpose, because that builds character. My last post was crap, and you know something else? This post is going to stink of just the same amount of poo the last one did. And the funny thing is, I don't give a rat's bottom.

You see, there is only one thing I am going to apologize for. One thing. And that is ... I apologize to Norway.

I had no idea the guy who invented the paper clip was from Norway. That must be the single most greatest invention ever. As I speak, I can look in three different directions, and see a paper clip. This speaks worlds for Norway. And you know, I was wrong to attack such a fine country, when the real prognasticator behind the entire attack is a loser from there, not a representative of the place. So I apologize to the country of Norway. I meant nothing by my words, and you're not pathetic. However, some of your people, as can plainy be seen, are.

Out of all the people that grinded my gears however, in response to me, one really took a chunk out of the metal, and possibly stopped them from turning. Melting. Are you melting? I think I remember you from the old Quake deathmatch days. Yeah, if I remember correctly, I was the one owning you, and you were the one complaining about spawn killing like a litte girl. How dare you use words I have no way of comprehending? The only bit of comprehension that I garnered whatsoever to your horse manure of a short post, was that my last post was crap. WOW!

And to think, I already knew this! You may think you're able to match wits and words with myself, but you forget one thing. No one matches wit and words with the truly insane, as the truly insane have no feeling of pride or self worth. My insults to you are my life blood. Your insults to me are the responses that fuel my ego, and my rage. I will continue to post, until somebody has the guts not to blow back up at me. But it won't happen, see, because this world is full of hypocritical easily manipulated filthy human beings who have to have a word to say for every evil word slung their way. It's the way of society, and I love it.

And Jerry. All I have to say is ... you hit the nail directly on the thumb. My parents, although they may not be proud of me, have nothing to do with anything. I am a product of what I wanted to be. I wasn't abused as a child, and I didn't have a rough upbringing. I choose to be the vicious assdumpling that I am, who insults people for fun.

Sure my insults are meaningless, but that's what makes it so much fun.

Soon, all of you will realize that the only possible course of action, is to hold your tongue and let me have the last word. Otherwise, you'll never stop hearing from he who is better than you, no matter how much you try to disprove my logic, slam my spelling, or simply insult my intelligence. I'm better than you, because in the true light of things ... I invoke passion enough for you to respond to me. What do you invoke?

I'll tell you what we invoke. You and your passion for spewing venom. We're your audience. Without us, you're all alone in the dark, drowning in the cesspool of your mind. Be thankful.

-Fred

*tsk tsk tsk*
You shouldn't wound what you can't kill, punk.

Mr. Thomas Malloy wrote:Sure my insults are meaningless, but that's what makes it so much fun.

Spoken like the truely vapid mutt you are. You see for you, meaningless=fun, but for myself, actions speak louder than verbal gas.

I think I remember you from the old deathmatch days, too. You were the one who needed help just to change directories in DOS, let alone conquer the CLI realm like the rest of us - you there, shivering away, waiting for windoze to come and save your worthless hide. Then, when you finally figured something out ("Duh... what's an executable..?"), we go and toast your ass with extreme pwnage. Don't ever forget it was every grunt for himself back then, you hopeless slime. Don't even speak to me about the good old days again without renewing your life insurance. You have no idea what this freak is capable of.

I don't live that far north by the way, Paul. I'm from Porsgrunn, which is in Telemark. Far to the south and a lil' bit east.

-Fred

Malloy - your insults were soooo meaningless that none of us took any meaning out of them! Besides, when someone as respected as you are takes such a stand, we automatically know it is nothing more than a farce. Nice try, though. (No smiley faces this time.)

Jim the old guy wrote:Malloy - your insults were soooo meaningless that none of us took any meaning out of them! Besides, when someone as respected as you are takes such a stand, we automatically know it is nothing more than a farce. Nice try, though. (No smiley faces this time.)

As I sat here, and tried to think of witty comebacks, and venomous jabs to combat the ever hostile population of this board ... I was struck by this post right between my eyes. It almost made me cry. To think, after the words that have come out of my mouth, and how treacherous and vile they were ... to have someone come out and say ... I ... am respected? ::Sniffs:: Respected? Me? The lil ole out of work truck driver with the big stomach from Ohio? ( Which is actually made even sadder by the fact that I'm 23 ... )

And after reading that, and the scathing remarks (which I still wasn't able to comprehend), from Melting ... and ... I decided that ... I was touched too much to come up with any kind of insult. I ... apologize to any of the community who had respect for me, before I decided to unleash my pit of rage and anger upon you. That's right. I'm sorry.

I don't expect forgiveness, but ... I think now ... I will finally be able to find some sort of satisfaction in life. Jim, you've changed my outlook, and I will forever be thankful.

So with that I only have one more thing left to say ...


SIKE!!!!!!!!


Do you actually think ... that someone like me, would ever be anywhere near emotionally involved with a sad bunch of pathetic wretched rejects like you?!? You have to be a complete idi ... no .. you have to be a complete moron, to believe that I would hold any kind of love or like for that matter, for this sad little community.

And Melting ... the one who was wounded, and cannot be killed. You say what you want. I don't get it, I never will. No, an excutable to me, was someone I laid waste to with my Rocket Launcher in Quake, and fragged into little giblets. So maybe I don't know the finer points of technical wizardry when it comes to the computer. But I didn't need to when it came to wiping your face in the lava in a deathmatch. If you're so big and so bad, I challenge you ... I challenge you to a deathmatch in Quake one. A one on one best of ten kills match in the greatest level Quake 1 ever had for deathmatch ... The boss level of the first Episode. Put your skills where your mouth is homey. You'll get owned like that two year old who wiped the map with me and everyone else in Halo 2 the other day .. (Oh, you have no idea what it does to a confidence level to have a three year old screaming obscenities, and victory speeches everytime he snipes you. )

Oh wait, that's right, I can't actually go through with that challenge, because I got rid of that game a long time ago. Guess I won't be able to rub my exploits all in your face. IN YOUR FACE. Which I so definitly would.

I can hear your character in the lava now ...

Agh-Agh-Agh-Agh-Agh-Arrrrrrrrrghhhh ...

Umm...isn't that supposed to be "Psyche"?