Unofficial Tex Murphy

How do you get 50 Pikachu's on a bus?

Poke-em-on

Hilarious little contest where folks were instructed to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.


the winners are:

1. cashtration (n.): the act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. ignoranus: a person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. intaxication: euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. reintarnation: coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. bozone (n.): the substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. the bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. foreploy: any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. giraffiti: vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. sarchasm: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. inoculatte: to take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. hipatitis: terminal coolness.
11. osteopornosis: a degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit.)
12. karmageddon: it's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the earth explodes, and it's a serious bummer.
13. decafalon (n.): the grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you
14. glibido: all talk and no action.
15. dopeler effect: the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. arachnoleptic fit (n.): the frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. beelzebug (n.): satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. caterpallor (n.): the color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Jen, those are awesomely hilarious!

Jen! Those were great! However, they should have been in a funny joke thread, not with all the stupid/bad jokes. 4 **** for Jen!

Jim the old guy wrote: 4 **** for Jen!

Asterisks, like for Barry Bonds' home run ball? As in "they weren't REALLY jokes?"

Good question, GS. Actually, I meant they desrve 4 stars out of 4 stars. I hope no one mistook those as some kind of obscenity. On the other, if someone did, what do I care? Have fun and keep the faith!

I think "dopeler effect" is my favorite. I see it at the office all the time.

I'm a big fan of ignoranus. I see them, all the time.....like dead people.

OK, I should go hit the showers and such, but I was on Youtube and I ran aross this. It's worth watching all the way through, he busts out some hella funny moves ,with a big finish. The beavis/butthead headbanger one was especially funny for me.

Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7IZmRnA ... ture=bz303

Thanks for the 4 stars JTOG. Not my material....but funny!!!!

AND......getting rid of the post count #666. It just creeps me out.

...end spam...


Oh yeah, arachnoleptic fit makes me LOL too. Been there done that, speaking of creeping me out.

That bird kept the beat! I can't believe it! And he stopped when the music stopped. That has to be the single coolest thing I have seen in a loooooooong time. Towards the end, his head bobs were exactly in time with the music. Wow.

yeah Go SNOWBALL! That bird can get down with his bad self!!!

Let's see, awful jokes. How about puns! Puns are so bad.

Here's one.


A little Russian snap.

You show me Stalin's grave, and I'll show you a communist plot.

Speaking of Russian, there's a great little completed fan fiction that's includes that very country, along with a long lost, hidden Faberge egg that contains a secret that, in the wrong hands, could change life on planet earth for a select few (or more) as we know it. And by the way, that select few, is the brutal Crusade for Genetic Purity. Some will kill for it, and some, including a mysterious woman from Tex's past, will fight to protect it.

Tex, dragged from the Boulevard of Broken dreams clown ending in Pandora Directive, starts out on a simple case, the disappearance of the friend Chelsea's visited in Phoenix. But he's rapidly pulled into a larger tale, including past lives, norm and mutant tensions, and an act of mercy that saved a member of the assassinated Russian royal family.

Sourced heavily from the Radio theatre and the "Tex" mythology, I branched out to a wholly separate tale I hope you find satisfying.

..........end PR campaign (pimping of the story.)

edit to add link

http://www.unofficialtexmurphy.com/phpb ... .php?t=713

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

That was funny, Pizza! Here's one I'm not sure about but thought it was pretty cool.

Jim:

Pizza: that's a great one.

My cable is out...so here I am again.


Demotivators.....they're awesome!



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