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Cute joke

GRANDMAS DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING



Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?"



She was a little taken aback, but she decided to just tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."



Little Tony said, "Oh, OK," and went back outside to play with the other kids. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called bunk beds. And Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you."
"If you look to me for illumination, you better have a flashlight!"
Which reminds me of. . .

Some days later, little Tony asks his mom, "Mom, do you and Daddy have sexual relations?"

Being a modern day mom, after a moment of thought she replies, "Why yes, Tony, we do."

To which Tony asks "So why don't they ever come over for dinner?"
Never too late for coffee, never too early for beer.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
"If you look to me for illumination, you better have a flashlight!"
:lol: You 2 are just too funny... :lol:
The Paved Straight Road, Won't Always Get You Farther Than The Winding Dirt Road...


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That was a cracker Jim!

-Cub. =o)
Peter came home from school & found his mother laying on the lounge having sex with his father,
they explained the situation by " I am just filling your mother with fuel,
young peter then replied "well she must not get many miles to the gallon as uncle fred filled her up this morning
Lynne
tex murphy is back in town
Didn't! Did not! I refuse any and all accusations!

Also, did you ever hear the one about the guy in the insane asylum? Every night, the guard would come to check the lock on his cell door, and every night the inmate would have a new costume on. On wednesday night, he had on a militaristic coat and a large hat. He even had his hand inside his coat lining, posing like that old painting of a certain French emperor.

"You're not Napoleon!" said the guard. "You're just crazy!"

The inmate looked a bit sad, but didn't stop dressing up every evening. On thursday, he was dressed in a larger hat, and bedsheets. In one hand, he held a wooden make-shift scepter.

"You're not the pope!" the guard commented, "You're insane!"

Which gave the inmate an idea. On friday, the guard went to check the cell door as usual. Inside, the inmate was completely naked, with his member hidden in a bowl full of salty peanuts. This gave the guard some pause.

"What're you supposed to be?" he asked the inmate.

The inmate lit up a grin and replied "Oh, didn't you know? I'm f*cking nuts!"

-Fred
Pirates, vampires, zombies, ninjas, ghouls, aliens, goblins, monsters, robots, sorcerers, undead, werewolves, demons, mutated dinosaur-cyborgs and those pesky phone salesmen! The shotgun is a one-size-fits-all solution!
Good one, Lynne. :lol:

Uh, Fred, you're insane. :lol:
"If you look to me for illumination, you better have a flashlight!"
What do you call a gay irishmen?
a gaylick.....
what do you call a gay black man?
Samblow.....
What do you call a gay jewish man?
HeBlew........
What do you call a gay polish man?
PoleLick........
What do you call a gay italian man?
A Guinie Co*ksucker.....


I hope no one is offended--- I just heard these today
Look out, cause here comes some free advice:
walk in the sunshine, watch for the bright sun
be all those things you're able to be
you got to listen to the heavens
you got to try and understand
the greatness of their movement is as small as it is grand
try not to hurry, it's just not your worry
leave it to those all caught up in time
Well, they're not exactly tasteful jokes. And I realize there's a pun in that statement somewhere, but ignore the wordplay for once. Racism just doesn't fly here.

-Fred
Pirates, vampires, zombies, ninjas, ghouls, aliens, goblins, monsters, robots, sorcerers, undead, werewolves, demons, mutated dinosaur-cyborgs and those pesky phone salesmen! The shotgun is a one-size-fits-all solution!
My apologies Mr. Fred.... I understand.... Again I say, I hope no one is offended... And my apologies to the community... Have a Blessed day, all..... PS: If you knew me, you would know I'm not racist, but like I say, I apologize.
Look out, cause here comes some free advice:
walk in the sunshine, watch for the bright sun
be all those things you're able to be
you got to listen to the heavens
you got to try and understand
the greatness of their movement is as small as it is grand
try not to hurry, it's just not your worry
leave it to those all caught up in time
Relax grateful, no harm no foul, honest mistake I'm sure...
The Paved Straight Road, Won't Always Get You Farther Than The Winding Dirt Road...


Can You Run Your Game??? Click Here And Find Out...

*Note, Not All Games Have Been Tested & Therefore May Not Be Listed...
we are all gay here don't you know that..................LOL
Lynne
tex murphy is back in town
Oh yes, quite true. Lots of joy and making merry.

-Fred
Pirates, vampires, zombies, ninjas, ghouls, aliens, goblins, monsters, robots, sorcerers, undead, werewolves, demons, mutated dinosaur-cyborgs and those pesky phone salesmen! The shotgun is a one-size-fits-all solution!
One of the best jokes I've heard in a movie was from "Lost in Space". Granted the movie was mediocre, but I still loved this joke.

"Why did the robot cross the road?"

"Because he was carbon bonded to the chicken."

Totally brilliant and geeky joke. I definitely laughed out loud in the theater. I might have been the only one.
Samantha


Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.