Some funny jokes to lighten your day

The anniversary gift:
Ed is in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was very
angry.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway
that goes from zero to 200 in less then 12 seconds...AND IT BETTER BE
THERE!!"

The next morning, Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway and brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new
bathroom scale.

The inheritance:
When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune
when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy
it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted
the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took
his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her
"but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million
dollars."

Impressed, the woman went home with him that
evening and three days later, she became his stepmother.


YOUR AGE BY EATING OUT



Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood

Anyway----but your waiter may know!



YOUR AGE BY DINER &
RESTAURANT MATH



This is pretty neat.



DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!



It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read...

Be sure you don't read the bottom until You've worked it out!

This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.





1. First af all, pick the number of times a week
that you would like to go out to eat. (more than once but less than 10)





2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)





3. Add 5





4. Multiply it by 50






5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1757....
If you haven't add 1756.





6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.





You should have a three digit number.













The first digit of this was your original number (I.e., how many times
you want to go out to restaurants in a week).




The next two numbers are





YOUR AGE!-------(Oh YES, it is!!!)