Question...

Oh, I've heard that one before
It really depends on the person, but in my experience it's just an empty threat.
My advice is lay low until the storm blows over. If it turns out to be an empty threat, forgive and move on. If it turns out to be true, well then ~ use your own judgement...

Bests, Rockefeller

Sounds like a lot of hot air to me. Can she be spiteful? As rockefeller said, just cool things off, show her a good time, get her flowers or something, and it will help her realise you are the only dude for her.

The whole graphic details things it a bit nasty, so after you reconcile with her, tell her how hurtful it was and perhaps she will know not to act that way again.

-Cub. =o)

The real question here is, do I deserve to be treated like that. It's not the typical situation of the guy being an idiot and the girl overreacting. I have done in the most literal sense "Nothing wrong" I've been getting this kind of crap from her from three years, and now that she is in another country debating on whether or not to even come back, it is a lot easier for me to see things clearly. Because I am a pushover when it comes to forgiving and forgetting. I can honestly say that if she was here right now. I would have folded.

Well both of u bening obstinend does make it hard noone wants to give in.

Not that im the all wize person with all the ansers but i have to agree saying "im gone sleep with someone else and . . . . " is usualy ment to hurt the other person.

This to get a reaction from u to see if u even care enuf or to puch u away.

U do need to talk about those remarks to her becouse it wont help either of u.
Couples know how to hurt the other better then anyone in the world becouse u are so close they know all the week sore spots of the other.

Just like u she will probebly have reasons to doubt the relationship hence the remark that she dont even know if she is coming back.

Only think one can do is talk talk talk .

hope it helps

I think this may be my problem Mike. I have never said something to someone I love just to hurt their feelings. I know it seems far fetched, but i have never felt the sense in it, and I have never seen the benefit to me. So when she does something like that to me, it just seems a lot worse that it would to others I suppose.

.
It is over. The only question is when will it end?

(Keeping in mind, we have only what you wrote as a measure of the events.) The situation is clear you are reconsidering the value of what you have. Unless pain is the object of the relationship, what is it that you think you have?

Why are the two of you holding on?

What do you hope to have when you see your friend again?
.

Take a piece of paper and fold it in half lenthwise. On one side list all the good things in your relationship. On the other side list all the difficulties. Unfold and compare. If all of what you said is true, the answer should be obvious. However, I never like making a definite statement one way or the other without hearing your girlfriend's side. No offense; just good practice.

Having some experience with girls, loss and painful endings to relationships, I will speak on the subject only because I believe my point of view can help you. Otherwise I wouldn't, because I don't like to talk about or even refer to that part of my life.

All I can say is this (and this'll sound really cliché in more than one way, but it just so happens to be very true) - search your feelings. I mean really search them, feel the feelings inside you and be brutally honest to yourself about them. Does it feel good? Is there hope? Is it worth salvaging? Or does it feel empty, like you know deep down this will go nowhere?

Know this - when it comes to relationships, whether it's a man or a woman, a boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, friend, best friend, lover or even co-workers - the truth to how things work/don't work between you is always within yourself. It's just a matter of how open you choose to be. Don't open yourself completely to just anybody, be extremely wary. But never hesitate to be open towards yourself. It's painful, it's wearing, it can be both exhausting and stressing, but never forget that it *is* completely honest.

And that's my two cents. Hope it helps.

-Fred

Yeah that's right Jim... almost every time I have though I have done nothing wrong, I have still had the patience to hear her story, just to find out what's she thinks of it. And funnily enough she has a valid point most of the time as well!

Sounds to me the fact that she is making such nasty comments is becuase she is angry about something, whater you are the reason or not. The distance factor does not help things, and perhaps she is just testing the waters of how tolerant you are of her (and to a more difficult extent, how much she can get away with).

Do what Jim said, write down your positives and negatives. And get her to do the same. Then when you have both gone through it, ask her what about this current situation makes her say such hurtful things.

At the end of the day, if she is not mature enough to curb her nastiness for the opportunity to talk thing over, you might want to reconsider the relationship in total. Hwoever, if she does feel like participating, it shows she still loves you, and you can probably get to the bottom of things.

Good lukc man.

-Cub. =o)

This is why I'm going to marry a submissive.

You could always try and get intimate again when the time is right. With Valentine's day coming up you could do something romantic and have an evening cuddling or something and slowly bring the romance back in?

If not, Jim's idea is a good one. And if you find that there are more good things than bad, you could lighten the mood by making your list into a paper plane or something.

If you know in your heart it's over then you need to move on with your life and not drift, but if there's a future then make the most of it and put the romance back in.

Or something like that.

you could try ether...

Hey man. Been a while since I posted ... but this thread caught my eye, and I just wanted to tell you, if you feel like having the opposite sex in your life at all, it would be a good idea to take everyone's advice, and try to fix it. If you're together in the first place, there is a reason for it. Maybe you can look back and find out what that reason is ... and remember it. I just don't want you to make the same choices I did. I'm at the point that I don't even *try* to attract the opposite sex anymore. I just don't care anymore. Don't get to that point. It's depressing.

We are attempting to work things out. Thanks for the advice everyone. Though we are taking a small break, nothing has changed in the way we interact with each other. In quite the reversal, we are actually making one another happier. So hopefully it will be blue skies ahead.