Unofficial Tex Murphy

Beautiful send-off. A woman of 84 years of age who died last thursday. She and her husband were neighbours of my family when I was a kid. They were extremely kind, and to me, like another set of grandparents. Their grandchild has been a life-long friend of mine. Now it was hard enough sitting in that church with all the other mourners, family and friends.

But I swear. One of the hardest things I've done in my life was afterwards. Shaking that poor old man's hand and looking him in the eye. That was the most heartbreaking moment I've witnessed.

They met during the war. The second world war, that is. And they married in 1946, and I have never seen them apart. They were always together.

Looking in his eyes I could see with terrifying clarity that his world was gone. All hope and joy of life had been torn from him. I've never seen such sadness. I pity the poor old man. I truly do.

Puts things in perspective. I wondered, is it worth living your life with someone if that is what you get in the end? I hope it is.

Having seen them together all my life, and felt the love and affection and care that emanated from them like a radio beacon of hope in a otherwise dark and cold world... I'm sure it is.

-Fred

I have seen quite a few folks like that pass shortly after their loved one does.


My Granddad was a WW1 vet and was tough as nails, his wife was as nice and sweet as they come. He had every health condition known to man so it was tought his death would come first. It came as a shock when she died first, so much so in fact he died not 90 days later.

That sounds a lot like my grandparents actually. They dated for about six weeks, and then got married. They must have done something right because they're still together and have been married for 60-some odd years. They're both 85 years old, and still in pretty good health.

Sorry to hear that... At 84, at least she lived a full life...
My neighbor, 87 year old woman passed back before Christmas this past year... That old man over there is still ticking though, still gets out there on these 90 Degree days and cuts his grass, when his kids aren't around to stop him anyway...

I attended a Memorial Service a couple of weeks ago myself... A friend from high school who was part of our tight group back then had some ups and downs with heroin in his mid to late 20s, sadly his last down time there was too much and he ODed... We hadn't hung out in years, but he was still a dear friend... If you ever needed anything he'd come if you called... 31 years old, tragic waste it was...

Sorry to hear about this, Fred.

My grandparents was in their mid 80's. First grandmother died, and three months later grandfather died too. Not uncommon I am told.

Sorry to hear about your loss too, Bafitis.

Very sad indeed, Fred. The thought of losing a lifetime mate is scarey, but unfortunately all to real. It will happen someday. That is why you live every day as if it were your last. Loving each other, showering each other with little acts of kindness, forgiving quickly (and the making up is OH so much fun!), communicating about nothing and everything, and so on. My wife and I have talked about this and we agree on one thing: neither of us want to survive the other's death. The heartbreak will be devastating, to say the least. BTW, it will be 40 years for us on Dec. 21 this year. Wouldn't have it any other way, even knowing that which is unavoidable will come sooner or later.

Jim the old guy wrote:BTW, it will be 40 years for us on Dec. 21 this year.

Damn, those some years there Jim, Congrats... What's the Secret???

I'm surprised I made it to my 10th this past July... July 6th if anyone is wondering... So when I let off Fireworks for the 4th, I let them off for the 6th as well, just to show her that we still have Fireworks in the relationship...

It does make you wonder how love is able to be powerful enough to make you stay with someone for so long knowing that at any moment it will be gone. I always looked at my parents marriage and wondered why my mom stayed with my dad for so long when he was an outrageously bad alcoholic. But she knew. Every time she looked into his eyes, she could see the good man that he was and knew that one day he would beat the alcoholism and be that man. And he did. And the 15 years he was sober at the end of his life was what made all those other years worth fighting through. Mom always told me that those sober years at the end of his life made him the greatest person to ever know. Love is powerful...more than most people think or allow themselves to believe.

It is exactly four years to the day since she died. I learned today that the old man passed away, aged 91, due to a heart problem he's had for 30 years. I remember him going to the hospital, when I was a boy. Now I'm a man, and I hope I've learned something from their lives.

For the last four years, he spent his time helping his family. My oldest friend, one of his grandsons, recently became a father. He got to see that. A lot of people expected him to wither after the loss of his wife. But he soldiered on.

I met him once, since his wife's funeral. It was my oldest friend's wedding. We talked a bit, then. And, he was an old man. Not old, as in decrepit, or frail, or geriatric or any of these derogatory terms we young people like to ascribe to the elderly to make ourselves feel younger than we really are.

He was an old man. In that way only a few old people get to be. Some men will always be boys. Some will be fathers. Some will be grandfathers. And some will be great grandfathers, and still retain his inner child. And they will seem wise beyond their many years when we young people engage them in talk. They are, though. They are really that wise.

We didn't talk long, that night, but I remember how he made me feel. Next to him, I was but a child. But it was okay, for there are people like him in the world, still.

His funeral will be this friday.

-Fred

Very sad, but he's with the woman he loves again.

Fred, I'm sorry about this.

It sounds like he was a truly wonderful person who had a wonderful life and touched those he knew. Would that we could all be like that.

Nice sentiments Fred. My wife & I are past 30 years now. And, before anyone gets any ideas about how old that makes me, let me just say that it's a 2nd marriage for both of us

We've talked about it too, and we've decided we're gonna go together. Well, we're gonna try to anyway.

My grandfather lasted 10 years after my Grandmother died.

He kept really busy, which is why I think he lived so long afterwards...

he was 92.