Unofficial Tex Murphy

I'm sleepy. And thus I bumble in here and theorize. Because you see I've noticed something! Why in hell (or to be more precise: FICTION!) are there no heroic, macho, smart, all-round good-guy types named Fred (Or Fredrik/Fredrick/Frederick) in movies, books, music, what have you..?

They are all either effeminate, outright flamboyant homosexuals, weak, weak-willed, pussies, getting kicked around by bullies or if they are none of the above - they're the villain. And then they usually speak with a goddamn british accent!

Why is the only person in fiction named Fred who's actually somewhat the good guy one of the main characters from Scooby Doo? Who gives two tugs of a dead dog's pecker about THAT guy!? Nobody ever looks twice at him! He's actually outshined by some bum-looking lucky-dumb guy named Shaggy and his pet dog!

When you get upstaged by a bum and a mutt you know you're not the hero of the story!

Either the name is cursed, or it's just not a macho enough name. What the hell happened?

This theory brought to you by a countryman of mine whom most of us are ashamed of publicly, and secretly listen to. Here's the song I'm speaking of:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OBkC03tsxM

And oh yeah, that might be somewhat unsafe for work, due to the lyrics and such. Funny how some ideas pop into your head at 4 am.

Please post your weird-assed theories below, if you've got some. The sleepier you are, the better!

-Furedu

You want a Fictional person named Fred who was somewhat a hero???

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101775/

Sure it was a Comedy and kind of weird movie, but he was still very helpful to Elizabeth...


On another note, I'm sorry for your insomnia...

What? What about Fred Flintstone? Man of the house, solid blue collar worker, everyday Joe, alpha dog over Barney. King of the bowling team and proud member of the Water Buffaloes.
I think NOT!!!

Fred Jones - Leads Velma, Daphne, Shaggy and Scooby Doo in the Mystery Machine in an attempt to solve issues related to ghosts.

At least your last name isn't Kruger.

-Cub. =o)

Or Corleone

-Fredo

So, uh, Fred, are we having a bad hair day?

Have you consider this: On this website YOU are the ONE AND ONLY FRED! The holy grail of Freddom, THE MAJESTIC, comedian extraordinaire, and all the other bull that goes with the aforementioned?

Your modesty preceeds you and it is commendable. You are our hero, Fred.

Leave it to Jim to make me spill orange juice out my nose! I thank you for your honest concern! Really!

But no, I am fine. I just stumbled into the realization that in fiction, everybody named Fred is a wuss or a villain. Okay, except in Hanna-Barbera toons where they're either cavemen or background characters

I'm just putting it out there so that now that you're aware of it, you'll start to notice it too.

Kind of like the same principle when you're watching a movie and you notice your dvd-player is making a funny noise. As soon as you notice the noise you can't un-notice it, it'll annoy you for the rest of the film

Oh and my hair and nose are okay, Jim

-Fred

I sympathize with you, Fred. Why don't you, uh, er, change your name to.........Anakin?

Anakin Buer? I don't really see it. However I was thinking about Guybrush. Guybrush T. Buer. There ya go! Alternatively, I might go with Hearty-Beef'n-Potato Goodsoup Buer. Because it just smacks of class!

-Fred

Fred Buer wrote:Anakin Buer? I don't really see it. However I was thinking about Guybrush. Guybrush T. Buer. There ya go! Alternatively, I might go with Hearty-Beef'n-Potato Goodsoup Buer. Because it just smacks of class!

Class??? Maybe... But do you really want to have to Sign that every time you go to the bank or something???

Fred, dude, Pierce Brosnan said he always wished he had a more boring name, like Frank, and Michelle Obama didn't want to name the dog Frank, saying it was too plain. How low can you get when your name is too boring for a dog?

Arguably, of course, I can always send them all to hell and bring up Sinatra.

I have to admit, regarding your theory, that the name Frederick brings up a very specific stereotype in mind, and I have no idea where it comes from. To me, it's a weak-framed german guy with round glasses, slim lips and blond hair with a 1940's do, who listens to Bach, plays chess and plots evil deeds while reciting poetry and possibly playing the piano.

On a more archetype character-oriented level, when I think of Frederick, I think of Faust.

I knew a lady who changed her name after her divorce.

She changed it to Just Rita.

That was on the top of her checks.

So my thinking was her first name was Just and her last name was Rita.

But hard to wrap your head around if you're filling out paperwork for her.

"Your name ma'am?"

"Just Rita."

"Hmm....Rita what?"

"Just Rita."

"So is Just your last name?"

"No, It's Just Rita."

Person shakes head and quietly goes insane.

At least you did say "plotting evil deeds"... Which to me reads as "plotting world domination". Of course, being sidelined with Adolf ain't a good thing either, but, hey, Pinky isn't exactly macho either.

And Just Rita? Oh lordy.

We've actually got a comedian (or he thinks he is at least) here in Norway who legally changed his name from Espen Thoresen to Espen Thoresen Hværsaagod. It's basically the same as if I started to name myself Fred Buer Hereyougo. He later changed it to Espen Thoresen Hværsaagod-Takkskalduha. Which basically means just Hereyouare-Thankyousomuch.

It's become this weird fad lately, changing your name.

-Fred