Facts about... Tex?, No! God? No! Chuck Norris!

I had seen some of them before, but not all of these. They're pretty funny.

Those are pretty funny! I wonder if most of them come from the same source as this:

30 facts about Mr. T

Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.



There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.



Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.



Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.



You have only seen Mr. T in human form. In Narnia, he is a T. Rex with a lion's tail hanging out of his mouth.



Mr. T once rocked the Casbah. Which explains why there is no longer a Casbah.



Mr. T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. The result was the 80's.



23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.



Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.



Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.



They say when a bear is chasing a group of people, you don't have to outrun the bear, but only have to be faster than the slowest person. If Mr. T is chasing you, you're dead no matter what.



In 1995, Mr. T was diagnosed with B-cell lymphoma but he pitied his own fool cells until the disease turned into T- cell lymphoma. Upon closer inspection by doctors, the cancerous T-cells now had mohawks, gold chains around their nuclei and were tired of the other cell's jibba-jabba.



Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.



It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.



Mr. T doesn't feel pain; pain feels Mr. T



The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.



Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T.



In 1989, Mr. T systematically killed every member of the band "MR. MISTER" for stealing his first name.



Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.



Mr. T's incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code doesn't have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but T's.



Sticks and stones may break your bones but Mr T. will also crush your internal organs.



Why does Mr. T still have his mohawk? Cause his reflection pities the fool who don't!



Before Mr. T, the alphabet only had 25 letters.



Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.





Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.



The United States Federal Reserve Bank decided that Mr. T's neck was a much safer place for their gold than Fort Knox.



Mr. T refers to himself in the third person because he refuses to acknowledge the letter 'I', or indeed any non-'T' related letter.



Rome wasn't built in a day. But if Mr. T had assisted, it sure as hell would've been.

Well that made my day realy funny

Good stuff, people.

Vin Diesel facts are also excellent: http://www.4q.cc/vin/

edit: I never noticed before that the same site also has Chuck Norris and Mr. T facts.

Yeah, but this site that has the Vin Diesel ones has a lots of:
<Name here> does bla and bla bla. <Name here> is bla bla. Regardless of whom you choose.

Now the real question is: who would win in a fight? Mr. T or Chuck Norris?

Well, according to the facts, only Chuck Norris can beat Chuck Norris... but a lot of people would be wounded in such a fight. I mean A LOT!

Well, we saw what happened the last time they engaged in battle - "the result was the 80's". Is it really worth the cost of another such catastrophe just to satisfy our curiosity?

One of my favourite Vin Diesel facts I've seen there so far:

The VIN numbers on vehicles actually form an elaborate puzzle. The person who solves it will gain all the powers of Vin Diesel himself.

Jerry Dan wrote:Well, we saw what happened the last time they engaged in battle - "the result was the 80's". Is it really worth the cost of another such catastrophe just to satisfy our curiosity?

Well, that could only improve the music. I can handle everything else that goes along with it.

Jerry Dan wrote:Well, we saw what happened the last time they engaged in battle - "the result was the 80's". Is it really worth the cost of another such catastrophe just to satisfy our curiosity?

If the 80's was a catastrophe, does that mean I'm a catastrophe cause I was born in the 80's???

No JC. It really means that everyone of intelligent age who passed thru the 80's are scarred forever..............maybe longer!

jcarnby,

Those born in the '80's were born mostly immuned. Although the atmosphere that filled your mother's lungs during your gestation probably caused mutatations in ways that may or may not have manifested themselves in you at this point in your life. The upside is that whatever quirks you have, you can blame it on your decade!

And to Crowley, I can agree that some of the music and a lot of the TV was pretty good. But the hair bands? The hairstyles? Thank God for their demise!

Jerry Dan wrote:jcarnby,

Those born in the '80's were born mostly immuned. Although the atmosphere that filled your mother's lungs during your gestation probably caused mutatations in ways that may or may not have manifested themselves in you at this point in your life. The upside is that whatever quirks you have, you can blame it on your decade!

And to Crowley, I can agree that some of the music and a lot of the TV was pretty good. But the hair bands? The hairstyles? Thank God for their demise!

Ahhh, so that's where this tail came from!