So if you're out of shape, and you don't know how to get in to it, what do you do? You Texercise! That's right ladies and gentlemen, brought to you by the makers of the somewhat successful "Sam and Max-ray - home do it yourself x ray machine" (complete with a full description on how to break each and everyone of your bones to see the fully animated, and wacky effects!)
The "Texercise" machine comes equipped with a gun that doesn't work, three bottles of bourbon, and a picture of Chelsea Bando. Also included is a heavy barbell with the explicit instructions of not using it until you get in shape. Drink until you think you're pretty! Only 19.99, in 1 easy installment of your credit card number!
Act now! Supplies are limited! Just send your credit card number to the email address attached to this post! You'll recieve your product about the year Tex Murphy "got" Chelsea.
But wait!
There's More!
If you order in the next ten minutes, we'll also send you a freezer dried portion of Louie's ultimate armageddon blend of coffee absolutely free! ( Freezer dried coffee's resemblence to dirt, and the taste resembling dirt is absolutely coincidental. ) As well, absolutely free, we'll also sign you up for a discreet (meaning everyone that has nothing to do with any government agency. Commercial companies to not apply) mailing list, where you will recieve free updates on Tex Murphy merchandise. Upcoming merchandise includes the "Authentic Hormone Machine" that won't work no matter what you try, Tex styled Soap on a Rope (approx 1 centimeter in diameter. No refunds), and the ultimate for any Tex fan ... The pin-up poster of Jackson Cross, with a Bullsye right on his eyeball. More to come!
Order now! Remember 1 easy installment of your credit card number. The company's mailing address will be withheld till we recieve this. Order now, because this is only for a limited time!
Sorry. No COD's.
The "Texercise" machine comes equipped with a gun that doesn't work, three bottles of bourbon, and a picture of Chelsea Bando. Also included is a heavy barbell with the explicit instructions of not using it until you get in shape. Drink until you think you're pretty! Only 19.99, in 1 easy installment of your credit card number!
Act now! Supplies are limited! Just send your credit card number to the email address attached to this post! You'll recieve your product about the year Tex Murphy "got" Chelsea.
But wait!
There's More!
If you order in the next ten minutes, we'll also send you a freezer dried portion of Louie's ultimate armageddon blend of coffee absolutely free! ( Freezer dried coffee's resemblence to dirt, and the taste resembling dirt is absolutely coincidental. ) As well, absolutely free, we'll also sign you up for a discreet (meaning everyone that has nothing to do with any government agency. Commercial companies to not apply) mailing list, where you will recieve free updates on Tex Murphy merchandise. Upcoming merchandise includes the "Authentic Hormone Machine" that won't work no matter what you try, Tex styled Soap on a Rope (approx 1 centimeter in diameter. No refunds), and the ultimate for any Tex fan ... The pin-up poster of Jackson Cross, with a Bullsye right on his eyeball. More to come!
Order now! Remember 1 easy installment of your credit card number. The company's mailing address will be withheld till we recieve this. Order now, because this is only for a limited time!
Sorry. No COD's.
I'm not fat ... I'm festively plump.
