Uwe Boll running wild

The good news, Tex Murphy gets a film adaptation. The bad news, Uwe Boll directs it, and it stars Michael Madsen as Tex Murphy!

Vracar wrote:The good news, Tex Murphy gets a film adaptation. The bad news, Uwe Boll directs it, and it stars Michael Madsen as Tex Murphy!

That is wrong on so many levels. Besides....we've got a director...
and a screenwriter.....and a lead.....etc......

I think my eyes must be twitching or something because I can't see any indication that Uwe Boll is directing a Tex Murphy movie. I might just be too tired to pick up on the joke if one was made about it Please elaborate on this and point me in the right direction for the info

Netro, you're just too tired to pick up on the joke.

Vrac: Thank you - I thought I might have been. I did write the message quite early in the morning, so I was still very tired and not in my "fun corner"

Hmmm...we've done so many dream casts of a Tex Murphy film...how about a horror cast? A cast so terrible, their names would imprint themselves on the backs of our retinas just before we let out our blood curdling screams of terror knowing they're making Tex Murphy?

Director Uwe Boll
Writers Wayans Brothers

Jim Carrey as Tex Murphy
Jimmy Kimmel as Gordon Fitzpaterick
Vin Diesel as Johnny Demonic (new char introduced as a stunt driver who helps Tex via car chases)

The list goes on! Painfully on!

How about Kathy Kinney as Chelsee?
aka Mimi from the Drew Carey show. (and she keeps the blue eye makeup)

And Joan Collins as Regan. Now running to dry heave over the sink.....

Musical score by Yanni and John Tesh

Now I'm in full retching mode.....


FUNNY stuff Vracar. To the land of absurd....all of us!

Jen


PS Edit to add
How about Richard Gere as Louie.
Gotta go to work....

How about they get the rock to play tex, or maybe Vanila Ice.. no Kevin Costner needs to be Tex, that would be an amazing performance (note sarcasm )

oh, and Rob Schneider can play Jackson Cross, and Gene Simmons can be Gordon Fitzpatrick.

The Ashley Olsen can play Regan, while Mary-Kate Olsen plays the chameleon.

We can also sqeaze Forest Whitaker in there somewhere, maybe he can play Louie?

how about we get the musical score done by Jay-Z or Nelly, maybe Puff Daddy, or pdiddy, or didd, or puffy, wtf, sean combs.... he can do it, cuz god knows he writes amazing "origonal" music and needs to make a little more money.

this film titled, "Tex Murphy: Private Investigator" directed by Sylvester Stallone is sure to be a blockbuster... or something similar, but not quite any where near that end of the specrum, actually, I think this one will go straight to VHS DVD to come soon...

-C$

::edit::
PS, written by Corey Mandell (writer of battlefield earth screenplay)

Damn you Chris! I'm getting all kinds of dirty looks, you're not supposed to break out in braying laughter at the library.

Oh man....I'm dying....priceless

Jen

Jen wrote:Damn you Chris! I'm getting all kinds of dirty looks, you're not supposed to break out in braying laughter at the library.

Oh man....I'm dying....priceless

Jen

thought u might like that jen

Directed by Spike Lee
Written by Spike Lee

Music by Prince

Starring
Josh Hartnett as Tex Murphy
Britanny Murphy as Chelsee
Michael Madsen as Gordon Fitzpaterick
Jessica Simpson as Regan
P. Diddy as Crazy Gary
Jack Nicholson as Jackson Cross

What about these cast suggestions:

Tex Murphy - Chuck Norris (the only "actor", who expresses(?) every emotion with the same look in his face)
Jackson Cross - Steven Seagal (almost as "talented" as Chuck)
Gordon Fitzpatrick - Tom Wilson (anyone rembers his makeup and "acting" as an older man in "Back to the future"?)
Chelsee Bando - Britney Spears (one of the many pop Wannabe actresses)
J. Saint Gideon - Leonardo DiCaprio (no comment necessary)

Music by Puff Daddy - good choice. Another possibility for a different music style would be Nsync.
But the title song must be sung and written by Madonna - in the same style as her song in "Die another Day"

Lemme have a shot at this:

Tex Murphy: Ben Affleck

Ug - I can't go on. I think I'm gonna be sick.

Tex Murphy: Eddie Murphy

Chelsee Bando: Eddie Murphy

Rook Garner: Eddie Murphy

Louis LaMintz: Eddie Murphy

Francesca Lucido: Eddie Murphy

Clint the Bum: Eddie Murphy

Nilo: Eddie Murphy

Tex Murphy ][: The Chumps